Let Go Of The "Should Be"

Whenever I hear “Let It Go”…. I just want to break into song. Anyone else out there who is the same level of dorky-ness as me?

Often times I find that, as women, we deal with self-imposed unrealistic expectations of what we “should be”.

We should be thinner, taller, more attractive.

We should look more like the models in the magazine.

We should be smarter.

We should be doing x, y, or x.

So often, these “should be” feelings can tear us down. When we fall short of what we “should be”… we can find ourselves in a terrible cycle of self-hate and even depression. We feel like if we don’t measure up then we aren’t worthy or “good.” These expectations can be influenced by society, family, or friends. They are unattainable and can put us on such a terrible path toward self-destruction. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re dealing with this - but it must be handled.

As someone who is working to overcome being a perfectionist and people-pleaser, I find myself hearing the “should be” voice more often than I’d like. If not handled appropriately, they can demolish my entire day because my attitude and mind are out of check. I get focused on the wrong things instead of heavenly things. I become focused on making sure everyone else is happy with Amanda and less on if God is pleased with me.

Overcoming the “should be” can be difficult, but I’ve found strategies that work for me. I have to be quick to the draw when the unrealistic expectations come about in my mind - but I know in my heart that I am able to overcome them… and so are you. These “should be” thoughts are not conducive to us growing or flourishing. We must step into who God created us to be - not who the world wants us to be.

One of my favorite strategies is to journal. Getting the negative thoughts and “should be” expectations out on paper helps me verbalize what’s going on. Instead of trying to figure it out, I can just write it down and look at it with a sound and reasonable mind.

Another strategy to overcome the “should be” is working out! I’ve got to clear my head and when I run, I am able to do that. Working out is so therapeutic for me. My thoughts become more clear and I get kind of sassy - but in a self-empowerment way. I go into this mindset of “God created me, and His opinion is the one that matters.”

I encourage us to let it go! Let go of the should be and focus on who you were created to be, not some unrealistic image or standard. Be beautifully you!

Redefining Beauty Worldwide,

Amanda Moreno
Miss International 2016