I realized something this week.. Completely unbeknownst to me, I've created false expectations in my readers. And please believe me, those are NOT my intentions. So I want to start off by saying, "I'M NOT PERFECT!"
Whenever I write a blog, I write about what God is speaking to my heart. Meaning I, myself, am dealing with that issue! So I'm not saying that I've mastered it...But that "I'm a work in progress."
I know it's easy to look at any "queen" and think they're "perfect!" We set them up on this pedestal, and idolize them to an extent. But nothing could be further from the truth, we are all flawed, and imperfect human beings, with the exact same struggles and issues as you.
We all deal with insecurity, self image, and lies. Most of us have dealt with some kind of eating disorder, some kind of battle, depression, bullying, and or, suicidal thoughts. It's true! But that's why we do, what we do... To break the stereotypes, to expose the truth, and to help in someway.
But somewhere along the way, people start looking at us and seeing us as “perfect.” And we become unrelatable, and if that's the case, I'm very sorry!
I write about marriage, because I'm constantly working on my marriage. Not because my marriage is perfect! Cause let me tell you, it's NOT!
My husband and I, are married in "dog years." Meaning we are together 3 times as much, as any normal marriage. He works out of the house, AND to make matters worse, my kids are homeschooled. So our family is together 24/7. We are a different kind of family, and therefore, I have plenty to write about.
Please understand that we fight, we scream, we cry, we tantrum, and we make up, just like any other family, or marriage. We all fail, and fall short of the glory of God, but that's why we need Him.
Most people believe that because I do "good things" and because I'm Christian, that I have this ability that "heathens" don't. I mess up and fail just as much, if not more. It has absolutely nothing to do with my ability.
See scientists don't even understand how the universe is held together... But I know, that that power is God.
If you were a fly on the wall, looking in on our marriage, and looking in on a non-Christian's marriage, they'd probably sound the same. We both say mean things, we both fight, and we both act like little children arguing at times. But at the end of the day, that same force that's holding our universe together, is holding my marriage together!
My marriage works because of my faith in God, PERIOD.
It's not how much we love God, it's how much He loves us. It's not that I'm a good wife, it's that I have a good God that is sharing incredible insight and wisdom with me. It has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the Holy Spirit inside of me.
I'm not guiding myself, I don't know everything, I don't know when to turn left or when to turn right. But because I have a compass inside of me (the Holy Spirit) that points me in the right direction, all I have to do is follow!
Because I'm not what you see in the pictures..I wear makeup, I wear fake eyelashes, I wear a push up bra, and I suck in for most pictures....I'm not a size 0 (by any means!) In fact, I was probably one of the "heavier" girls at the pageant. But by the grace of God, I wear this crown. And it's all because God placed me here. He is the ONLY reason I have a marriage, the only reason I have a beautiful family, and the only reason I have this crown.
I pray that you never see me as perfect, but as I am, a flawed human being, who by the grace of God, is here today to help guide you to the truth.
I'm your Mrs International reminding you-
TO CHOOSE LOVE,