Married with Kids & a Crown

Well, I am not a marriage aficionado or expert, but wanted to simply share from our perspective the trials and triumphs of being a pageant titleholder while being married or married with kids.

Being married takes a great level of intentionality of it’s own, then you add in one child, two, three and so on, intentional living becomes all the more crucial. Throughout our lives, different things will try and draw our attention away from our family, I always try to be aware of what key distracters are in my life. Our greatest distracters can also become deconstructions of a family’s building blocks. Our family’s foundation is in Christ, but that does not mean we will never again face trials or earthquakes that seek to destroy all that is built. Fred and I have certainly faced some very difficult times together, but at the underlying of it all, even when we can feel like we don’t like each other, we know we still love each other and are committed.

Insert the world of pageantry. In the reality of it all, pageantry is not much different from other positions of leadership such as politics, business leadership, being a company representative, and more. Fred and I have realized the difference is in our attitudes and remembering to appreciate one another’s help instead of thinking their support is a given. One of my personal mistakes is when I have gotten in to what we call “The Mode”. For over a decade managing major construction projects, I had to always be in “the mode” to get things done on time, under budget and with decisiveness….BUT, turning off that switch once I got home was (and still is) a struggle. Those same skills were brought into competing for Mrs. International, but so were my weakness’s and one of my great struggles was really taking the time to appreciate Fred. One of Fred’s admitted weakness’s is fear. You see, I’m a risk taker…but one who believes at following full force without reservation where we have been called to….whether a pageant or political position. When God says jump out of the boat into the darkness, I jump. Fred is the person who will admit to looking around for a little bit to see if there is a life jacket on the boat or how close land is, lol. We have been through another in our marriage to be at a point to laugh at these strength’s and weakness’s, and our struggle has been in balancing those two with each other and not letting anger grow, but the opposite of an appreciation for each one’s uniqueness. What if I was married to someone who was a high risk taker like me? Woah, right?! We could have earth spinning on the other direction before we knew it, lol. Here are the top 5 things that have helped us stay connected in a world that is pulling us in a thousand directions:

1. Our Faith.

2. Being intentional with our time together as a couple and family. There are a few things that were distracters in our lives and one of them was TV. We cancelled it over a year ago and have not looked back! The average person

3. Finding the right support network. Over the last year, we have had a number of friends and family who stepped up to the plate with us to help with our kids when we needed it and even just to take them for Fred and I to have a night out!

4. Communication. We work really hard at this one, because it is the easiest to fall aside when we are sleepy, have “other” things to do, but it when we can make it a priority, life goes smoother. When I travel, we spend a lot of time on google talk as well and not just phone calls. It is nice to see the person face to face!

5. Making the most of our trips and events together. As you may have noticed, I love to drive if the timing works out. It may not be for everyone, but we love adventure, exploring and having fun. When driving, it is the one time in my life I actually don’t plan out every detail of point A to point B. I have the date we leave, and the date we need to arrive….everything else in between is fair game. Find a cave we want to explore in Tennessee? We go. Climb to a volcano? Trek through a uncharted path to a waterfall? We are in for it. This has been on the family aspect one of my favorite parts of the year! We have loved collecting shoes together as well for Soles4Souls, invite your family to join the fun and learn some community service skills.

If this area is a struggle for you and you just need to share with someone, you are welcome to personal message me. Again, I’m not an expert, but sometimes it’s just nice to share with someone!

Enjoy your time as a family, below are some of our favorite adventures across the US together☺

Live What you Love,

Your Mrs. International 2014



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